This week, I’m watching bits of the Dawson’s Creek reunion and fundraiser for cancer awareness that took place on September 22. (Above is a screen shot from a video posted by extratv on YouTube.) At the event, which benefited the non-profit organization F*#@ Cancer, cast members took the stage for a live reading of the show’s pilot episode. The show’s namesake, Dawson Leery, was absent due to illness, though he did appear virtually through a pre-recorded video.
I didn’t realize until watching the reunion that the actor who played Dawson, James Van Der Beek, was diagnosed with Stage 3 colon cancer in 2023, at 46 years old.
Dawson’s Creek was one of my favorite comfort shows. It first aired in 1998 when I was in college. My husband and I got married in 2003, one month after the show’s final episode. We’d often spend a lazy morning taking in a rerun or two. The love triangle between Dawson, bad boy Pacey (played by Joshua Jackson), and Joey Potter (actress Katie Holmes) was always compelling. As much as I found Pacey’s edgy persona appealing, Dawson was the type of grounded, good guy I would have trusted most in high school.
That good guy, it turns out, is navigating a scary situation with a lot of grace. In a July 2025 interview with TODAY, when hosts asked Van Der Beek if he had advice for talking with kids about a parent’s serious illness, my ears perked up.
Talking to Kids About Tough Stuff
Because my mother had cancer, and I later faced my own diagnosis as a parent, I’ve experienced the disease’s impact from both sides. (I wrote about my experience for Next Avenue.)
When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1998, I was studying abroad. My parents decided to delay telling me the news until I returned home. I understand now that they believed it was in my best interest; they wanted to protect me from worrying when I was so far away. But months later, when my mom explained she’d had surgery and radiation while I’d been frolicking in the Swiss Alps, I was stunned.
My mom and I had always been close, and the late admission felt like a betrayal. More than that, I internalized the idea that I couldn’t handle the truth.
So in 2022, when I learned I had breast cancer, I aimed for full, prompt disclosure with our young daughters. Within days of the diagnosis, my husband and I told the kids. Understandably, they were upset as they began processing the news. As much as it broke my heart knowing I’d shattered part of their innocence, I was relieved my kids knew the truth. It meant we could begin to adjust to our new reality together, as a family.
Van Der Beek’s Approach
I was grateful to hear Van Der Beek’s perspective on having those difficult conversations with kids. His advice was spot on, and it resonated with so many aspects of my own diagnosis.
“Our approach was just be as honest as possible,” he said. “Because they know. They can sense that Dad’s having a tough day.”
“By not telling them, I think you’re confusing them even more,” Van Der Beek added.
I thought back to the night we told our children about my diagnosis. As soon as we sat them down at the kitchen table and said, “We need to tell you something,” our oldest daughter blurted, “You have breast cancer.”
They knew already that something was up. Hiding the truth wouldn’t have protected them — it would have backfired, as Van Der Beek pointed out.
Another reason to be honest right away, Van Der Beek said, is that it gives kids the chance to walk alongside you and support you in the experience. “Allow yourself to be surprised by their resiliency,” he said. “Don’t rob them of the opportunity to show up for you.”
After we told our kids about my diagnosis, they ran upstairs to set up a mini spa for me in our bathroom with hair and skin care products. Weeks later, as I was recovering from surgery, my oldest daughter helped style my hair. Even though it couldn’t have been easy, my kids showed up for me — just as Van Der Beek’s children are showing up for him. At the reunion, his wife and kids joined the cast on stage, with his daughters taking turns to sing the show’s theme song.
I was sad to hear about the complications that prevented Van Der Beek from attending the reunion, and I hope he’s able to recover and feel strong again.
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